The Chapman Report
Published by the Golden Gate Lotus Club
The Golden Gate Lotus Club
PO Box 117303 Burlingame, CA 94011
Friday January 21st, 2000
Tom & Cherie Carney
Take the BROADWAY exit towards BURLINGAME
Bear right on ramp at sign reading "BroadwayBurlingame" (0.2 mile)
Continue on Broadway (0.1 mile)
left on California Dr (0.6 mile)
Turn right on Palm Dr (0.2 mile)
2000 Events Calendar
Jan 21 GGLC General Membership Meeting, Tom & Cherie Carney
Burlingame (see directions on page 1)
May 7 Suspension/welding/fabrication clinic, John Zender’s
July 23 Woodside rallye, hosted by John Zender
Aug 18-20 LOG 20, Ottawa, Canada, presented by Lotus Ltd
Sept 16, 17 California Melee’
Sept 27 - Oct 1 2000 West Coast Lotus Meet, Napa - Mare Island, CA
The Lighter Side
The following piece appears as a result of an Editorial Executive decision. This decision was based on the general demographics of the GGLC which makes two assumptions;
No-one who owns a Lotus owns a Yugo.
If you do own both a Lotus and a Yugo, you must have a wicked sense of humor and thus will not be offended by the below piece. (co-Ed.;-)
Yugo (yoo-go) n. 1) Small, economical, Yugoslavian-built automobile.
2) 4x4 hood ornament. adj. 1) What doesn't happen when you press the
Q. How do you double the value of a Yugo?
A. Fill the tank with gas! (If it can still hold liquid).
A. If not, put a gallon of milk in the back seat.
What do Yugos have in common with Ferraris?
- A Ferrari can go from 0 to 60 in 4 seconds.
- A Yugo can go from 0 to 4 in 60 seconds.
Actually, a Yugo CAN accelerate as fast as a Ferrari, if you give it a fast
enough running start, so it clears the cliff's edge...
Q. How do you fix a broken Yugo?
A. 1) Lift off the radiator cap. 2) Push off cliff. 3) and drive brand new one underneath radiator cap. (30-mile/3-day warranty included!)
A man entered an auto parts store...
Man: "I need a windshield wiper blade for a Yugo."
Clerk: "Well, only if you throw $20 into the trade."
I once bought a Yugo with a tow package. ...It was in the front.
Q. Why does a Yugo have a rear window defroster?
A. To keep your hands warm as you push it.
"The Oakland Police captured two men in their Yugo last night. The men are being held as suspects in the city's first push-by shooting."
Q. What comes with every Yugo User's Manual?
A. The bus schedule.
Yugos are now much safer and come standard with an air bag. When you sense an impending accident, start blowing *real fast.*
Consumer safety tests showed that a 5 mph parking-lot crash will cause
About $2800 damage to a Yugo. What's left? About $1200 of "dealer prep."
Q. What do you call a Yugo at the top of a big hill?
A. A miracle!
I heard a comedian once tell a story of a guy he saw a driving down the street in a Yugo while talking on a cell phone. The comedian offered the following as a possible conversation;
"Hey Todd, this is Jimmy, you know that fifty cents you owe me …"
The President’s Column
By Scott Hogben
Well, we’re still here. I’m sure all of you are as tired as I am of hearing people talk about Y2K and the impending doom to which the planet was headed. None of it ever happened, we still had to go back to work the next Monday, and all of our bills were still due. Furthermore, aren’t you just as tired of hearing people say "the new millennium"! WHO CARES??? I’m just bent out of shape because I was counting on picking up a nice Turbo Esprit for pennies on the dollar from one of those people who sold off all their belongings and moved to Montana! That didn’t happen, but the important thing is, we’re all here and there is a new year ahead of us in which to enjoy our Lotuses! Speaking of which, how many of you drove your Lotuses during the month of December??? I sadly admit that the Europa hit the road only twice, once with me for the Toddler Rallye, and once with my brother when he took it out to meet his boss for lunch. The poor Seven didn’t see the road at all, but hopefully I’ll make up for it soon.
This brings up something that I was discussing with a friend of mine a couple of weeks ago. Why is it that we don’t drive our Lotuses more often? Sure, there are some in the club that drive their cars every day, and I congratulate those people, but what’s up with the rest of us? Why can’t we drive our Lotuses even once a week? Would we rather drive our benign commuter cars to run an errand? Sure, everything is ergonomically placed in newer cars, and we have power this, and power that, but do we really need all that crap to enjoy the drive? A whole new generation of performance cars, with some pretty impressive figures I might add, are out on the market these days. But are these cars interesting and *FUN* to drive? About 99% of them aren’t as fun as our Lotuses because car companies have concentrated on making them convenient to drive instead of making them fun to drive. I remember a friend of mine coming home from the San Francisco International Car Show the same year that Ford introduced the "Oval" Taurus. He said: "Did you see the cup holder in that? That thing was designed by NASA, for Homer Simpson!" I was laughing and crying at the same time. A funny comment, but a sad commentary on modern cars when a person walks away in awe of a cup holder instead of a performance option, and when a car maker puts more time into a convenience item than into providing something that has real value, like actual steering feel!
In a recent issue of "Car Magazine", Gordon Murray wrote an excellent article where he talked about the dilemma of choosing a car for his son who had recently gotten his driver’s license. All the cars he looked at had every ounce of feel "refined" out of them, which left him quite frustrated and unimpressed with what was available. The basic message of the article was that people think all these new cars out on the market are fun, but they don’t know what they’re missing because they’ve never been exposed to a car that is truly exciting to drive. The best part of the article was when Mr. Murray said he let his son drive his Series 2 Lotus Elan to show him what genuine driving pleasure feels like. The kid was hooked- like us.
My point in all this, is that we have these great cars sitting in our garages that are so rewarding to drive, and that prefer to be driven rather than sit, and we don’t take them out. When Kiyoshi Hamai worked close to where I work, I used to see him driving his Elan. We’d pass each other and I used to think: "I should be doing that!" I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve walked out of work and seen John Zender’s Europa in the visitor’s parking area; he often drives it in when he does consulting work for us. In addition, there’s a yellow Turbo Esprit (a V8???) that I often see in the Hewlett-Packard parking lot on Page Mill Road in Palo Alto. My hat goes off to all these people for knowing what they have and saving their Lotuses from becoming garage queens. But I’m sure they don’t need my congratulations, it’s a no-brainer, THEY’RE HAVING FUN!
I’ve never been big on New Year’s resolutions, but this year I’m making one to drive the Lotuses more often and I’m inviting everyone to do the same. Just be sure to follow through on it, which shouldn’t be hard at all considering it’s not like a promise to eat healthier or get more exercise. And remember, you’ll not only be enjoying yourself, but you’ll be providing a valuable social service by showing the rest of the motoring public what a real car is supposed to be like! Happy New Year to everyone and I’ll see you at the next meeting!
Sunday, Dec. 5th
It was sunny and un-seasonably warm!! 21 Rallyists brought toys and holiday cheers to the 1999 edition of The Toy Rallye.
For nearly 25 years the GGLC has been associated with The Toy Rallye. Co-presenting this event every 1st Sunday of December with the Fremont Touring Club. The objective of the Rallye is for the entrants to have fun with friends. The Toy Rallye is an A-B format variety rallye. Participants are given specific instructions which are to followed to the letter. The General Instructions are the overall rules of the Rallye and apply throughout the event. The Route Instructions are specific and involve executing certain actions at places along the route. In an A-B Rallye each Route instruction consists of 2 or more options. The participant must decide which of the options can be executed first and is valid. This leads to all sorts of fun and interesting situations!
This year 21 car loads of Rallyists entered, donating over 40 toys. These toys then were given to the Washington Township Volunteer Bureau in Fremont. The WTVB works with and assists needy families in the Tri-City area of southern Alameda County. As has been the rule for The Toy Rallye, Harriet Giddings of the Fremont Touring Club was the rallye master. Each year Harriet designs a rallye that leads the participants around industrial areas looking for signs and landmarks. You an spot a Rallyist from their stop and go driving, constantly pulling over to fumble through instructions and scratching their heads in puzzlement.
Helping Harriet were our GGLC members who put aside their Sunday to officiate at Checkpoints and scoring. The GGLC, Fremont Touring Club and the WTVB thanks Barry & Chris Spencer, Heidi and Joel Lipkin who worked checkpoint 1; Tom Carney, Daren Stone and Scott Hogben at checkpoint 2; Mike Ostrov who assisted with scoring!
Only one GGLC member entered, but scored extremely well, getting not only 1st in the Senior class, but the best score in the Rallye! Congratulations to Barry and Sue Swackhammer. Next year I would love to see more GGLC members enter the Toy Rallye.
THE TOY RALLYE RESULTS
First Timer Class
Anthony & Rena Schirado – Hayward CA, Nissan Pulsar
Don & Lynn Steed – Cupertino CA, Saab 900
Robert Stack – Pleasanton & Jeff Hough – San Francisco; Subaru Impreza
Richard & Lauren Koch – Milpitas; Triumph TR4
Mark Moeglbin – Fremont & Scott Gorsuch – Berkeley; Honda Odessyey
Scott McNinch & Evelyn Fox – Burlingame; Toyota Cressida
David & Diana Vrba – Dublin; Ford Ranger
Vanessa Allen – Hayward & Hernanades – Castro Valley
Tom Cooper & Ron Bowles – Manteca – Porsche 944
Mary Chaves & Peg Harmon – Fremont; Suzuki Sidekick
Mike Mantor – Milpitas & Regina Rutter – Sunnyvale; Isuzu Trooper
Joel Tesler & Rebecca Davis – Cupertino; Honda Accord
Sue & Barry Swackhammer – San Jose; MBZ SLK (GGLC)
Karyn & Rich Gibbon – Fremont; Triumph TR8
Annette & John Warnstedt – San Jose; Ford Mustang
Jerry & Marilyn Sotirhos – San Jose; Chevy Lumina
Bill Jonesi – San Jose; Honda CRX (solo)
Doug & Rich Slucher – Larkspur; Chevy S10
Art Allen – Castro Valley & Bruce Allen – Hayward; Ford Mustang
Rob Wester – Lafayette & Maureen McConnell – San Francisco; BMW 635Csi
Joe & Bonne Reid – Pleasant Hill; Ford Maverick
Letters to the Ed.
(received via e-mail)
I thought a few GGLC members may be interested in the new Solo2 Go Kart Racing Series. I went to the board meeting last night (10/12/99)in Sunnyvale. The age limit for junior karts in 1999 was 12 years old. It was reduced to 8 years old for the 2000 season. There will be two classes. One for the 8 to 11 year olds, and one for the 12 to 16 year olds. Plus, the 125 shifter karts have their own class. I will be the Coordinator for the junior classes.
Any question please call Barry Spencer at Spencer's Racing Services at 510-786-9244 or e-mail at email@example.com.
Got something for the Chapman report ? Send it in to
Golden Gate Lotus Club
PO Box 117303
Burlingame, CA 94011
by Daren Stone
Now that Y2k is in the bag and the Holiday decorations are (hopefully) put away, it’s time to get on with business and see what’s new with the GGLC ….
2000 Election results: The deep campaigning pockets of the Hogben camp were key to putting incumbent Scott Hogben back in the driver’s seat for 2000 ! The by-laws were reviewed to determine if an incumbent officer could be nominated for a second successive term, with the answer being yes. Other 2000 officers as follows:
Vice-President Victor Holtorf
Secretary Jon Rosner
Treasurer Laura Hamai
Next up are improvements with the Chapman Report, which we hope will help us to get it into your hands earlier (or at least on time ;-). Beginning with this issue we are testing an electronic copying process which should greatly speed up the time it takes to print & deliver to the Circulation Mgr. As always, we welcome feedback and suggestions, but especially articles.
Factory Turbo system for Esprit.7.5cr, 2.2 pistons, turbo, wastegate, blow-thru Dellortos, all cast manifolds, ducts and adaptors. $1500. Steve Lipp. (604) 255-6957 or firstname.lastname@example.org
The Chapman Report is published monthly by the Golden Gate Lotus Club, PO Box 117303, Burlingame, CA 94011. The GGLC is a non-profit incorporated car club and is not affiliated with Group Lotus, Team Lotus, or Lotus Cars USA. The GGLC's annual membership dues are $25.00, (effective January 1st, 2000).
Opinions expressed in the Chapman Report are those of the authors and do not necessarily represent those of the GGLC or its officers. Technical advise should be used at your own risk.
Submissions to the Chapman Report are accepted. Please E-mail them to email@example.com in Word Perfect,Word or ASCII DOS text. Submissions may also be mailed to The Chapman Report at 3507 Edison Way, Menlo Park, CA 94025-1815.
2000 GGLC officers are: President: Scott Hogben, Vice President: Victor Holtorf, Secretary: Jon Rosner, Treasurer: Laura Hamai, Event Coordinator: John Zender, Membership Chairman: David Anderson.
Chapman Report Staff: Editors: John Zender/Daren Stone, Circulation Manager: Tom Carney, Advertising Manager: Mel Boss.